Love and stuff

          I've just watched a pretty good love story disguised as a movie about bull riding, and it's made me really really sad. The movie is called the longest ride, and I do recommend it if you're looking for a sappy romance movie, like a lot of us do sometimes.

          Wrapped between a modern romance laid the incredible story of a couple who met during world war 2 in rural north carolina. A story of sacrifice, a story of loneliness, it really made my heart ache with how sweet and beautiful the love was.

          Now I am not a girl who goes through life with the goal of getting a boyfriend, nor do I ever do anything to meet guys, go on dates, etc. In other words, I don't want the hassle of meeting someone when I'm doing perfectly fine on my own. But these damn romantic movies just... Really punch me in the heartstrings.

          How great would it be to just have someone who will look at me like I'm the most important thing in the world, someone who cares what I think and how I feel. Someone who would sacrifice anything for me. I know, I know, this is a hollywood fantasy, and I am under no delusions, I just think about these things sometimes, and all the what ifs.

          Maybe someday someone would see me across the room and I don't know, sweep me off my feet or something, but I'm no beauty, in fact I'm pretty much on the low end of average, because of my lack of effort, I know.


But until that day comes, I will be here, alone and content.

Life Choices

          My brother is at a time in his life now where he has to basically choose what path his career will go through, which makes me think: How did I decide to do what I'm doing now?

          It's never been a conscious choice where I suddenly thought, yes, I'll pick graphic design over, let's say, accountancy. Growing up, I've always just known: I'm going to study art, I'm going to be an artist/designer. My family always knew, and I always knew. But now, in my second year of studying graphic design, I really can't help but wonder: Did I make the right choice? There's no doubt that I'm going to see this through, I'm going to graduate, for sure. It's just... Was I meant to be doing something else? An author? A performer? A musician? What would've happened if I was nudged in one of those directions instead?

          I do enjoy designing, of course, but I find myself wanting to write, and wanting to sing, wanting to play an instrument and make music far more than wanting to draw or design. Maybe it's because I am spending the majority of my time already designing for school assignments? No idea. This whole semester I've been completely tanking in motivation and I feel like I can blame it on what's going on with Dad, but maybe it's not? Maybe I'm just finding excuses for my complete lack of interest in graphic designing.

          In fact, the subjects that I enjoyed the most are critical writing and making a zine (magazine). Both involving writing. My basic thought process back when I was still in secondary school was that writing is something anyone can do, you don't need to go to school for it. Which I still agree with to some extent, but I can't write good fiction, and I think I'd have to learn it from somewhere.

          Every time I write, it's one of these streams of consciousness things (perfect for a blog, obviously), but these are just the same words that I'd be saying whilst talking to myself. Not really a feat of extraordinary storytelling here. Most people wouldn't enjoy reading this at all truthfully.


Anyway, that's everything off my chest now.
See you soon!