Mishmash- Ray leaving, curling iron, snapchat

          Hey guys! Bit of a mix of a post here because I have things to say but none of them warranted a full post so this is a 'new' thing I'll call a mishmash.

          Anyway, first thing's first: Ray left Achievement Hunter. I know this makes me look heartless and cold, but this hit me harder than Monty's death. Obviously, it is not at ALL the same! I know that! I'm just saying that personally, Ray has made more of an impact on my life than Monty did. When I saw the news this morning I just bolted upright, fingers crossed that it was a joke. But no, it wasn't (although somewhere in my heart those fingers are still crossed). AH just wouldn't be the same without him! I know he's been quiet and less energetic after the whole Twitch thing but he was still THERE.

          He's always been my favourite AH member because of his type of humour. It just... stood out to me a lot more than Michael's loudness or Gavin's idiocy, Ryan's maniacal-ness or Jack's goofiness (Geoff is perfect tho). It just made me so sad. Like I've lost a friend. I have followed his twitch though (twitch.tv/brownman) and this still means that I get to watch his stuff it's just that twitch isn't the platform for funny, is it.

          Moving on to a hopefully... Happier topic, I've been thinking about buying a curling iron. I've thought about this for so long! Well, this and a straightener. But I have curly hair already. It's a different kind of curly than a curling iron would give me though! Man I don't know. I love watching those youtube tutorials with people using curling irons/ straighteners, it's just so cool! It costs a pretty noticeable amount of money, of course, So I just can't seem to justify it. Doesn't mean I don't want it. Same with an ipad! I want one, but I literally have no need for one.

          And finally, snapchat. I know, what is this, 2013? But my friends recently got me into it (I had an account but I never posted anything) and it is SO FUN! I love that you can type even over videos, and the drawing function is awesome! Add me if you want, guys! @jo_xn! I post some pretty dumb stuff, but mostly my homework and stuff you know? Paintings, portraits, sculptures, typical art school stuff.

Ok, it's 1:13 am, time to hop on to bed. See ya next time!

God damn piece of crap lecturer

     Goddamn history 'lecturer'. Without a shadow of a doubt THE MOST racist and judgmental person I have ever had the displeasure to meet. Today is (hopefully) the last ever class I'll have with him or I will seriously go apeshit on him.

     The most vulgar person I have ever met. Profanities everywhere. I know you don't think it but this is still a SCHOOL. This is not an attitude that a lecturer (and that is what you are, just because you don't want to be doesn't mean you aren't) should have.

What bothered me the most out of all 3 times I've been in his class -and I'd like to state that he was the one that said class was optional, as long as you finish your essay, and I'm not gonna talk at all about the essay in class. WTF?- is his blatant impression of "Oh, so you speak chinese? I'd better pay more attention to you because CLEARLY people can't know two languages." I mean, seriously? Referring to us as 'The Chinese Girls'. Asking again and again, "Do you understand? Do you understand what I'm saying? Chinese girls?"

     Today was seriously one straw away from breaking the camel's back. We had to submit an essay that will be 60% of our final grades. He reads a sentence from it and says, "Oh, you girls know that there are programs where I can just enter your essay and check for plagiarism right?" And then he expects us to what, gasp in horror? This isn't news, I HAVE that program and I check every single one of my essays through those programs and not once have my essays ever been labelled as plagiarised.

     Man, I was going to go nuts on him when he asked (and this better be the final time) "You three chinese girls, I am very worried about you. Do you even understand what I'm saying to you?" I would've gone NO. I don't understand a WORD of what you're saying because I CAN SPEAK CHINESE. That's what you've always assumed isn't it?

     THE MOST hypocritical person in the world, contradicts himself all the time. Don't be late! Never on time. Respect yourselves and your work! Constantly disrespects us.

     The fact that this person has the power to stop me from advancing in my course obviously made me keep everything bottled in, so here I am, typing for the confession page. I hope you see this, and I hope you're not a petty enough person to fail me for speaking my mind, though I can't say I'd be surprised if you did.

     Ok, enough about that. I feel a lot better now!

My friend has a mental illness (rant)

          Ok, I'm feeling really pissed off right now and there's a chance that said friend will see this post, but that's a chance I'll take.

          My friend has depression, and she feels down almost everyday. She feels inferior to everyone, finds problems in herself and magnifies them to a disfiguring degree. You know how skinny girls will say "OMG I'm so fat I'm disgusting" That's what I feel like I'm hearing when she complains about herself. I would kill to be her. She is tall and skinny, and she eats literally whatever she wants, no exaggeration. Her face is the most symmetrical face I have ever seen, ever, and she's had braces so her teeth are great.

          She cries, all the time, about how she sucks at everything and how she can NEVER do her homework well, and she can't finish her homework in time. She gets so easily frustrated and this isn't new, she's always been easily frustrated, but now? Her frustrations turn to full out tantrums. I am not her roommate, but I am friends with her roommate and I really really feel sorry for her. As if homework isn't enough stress? All her problems stem from one really really simple thing: She takes EVERYTHING to heart. And I mean EVERY GOD DAMN THING. I told her once that I thought she walked a little bit weird, and BOOM out comes the tsunami of every single thing anyone has said about the way she walks.

          I know, I know, I should be nice to her right? Tolerate her a bit more? Well I did. Me and her roommate console her all the time, ignoring our homework because our friend is in jeopardy. I spent 4 hours once, just texting her and encouraging her, and I never ever complained about it, until now. Call me unreasonable but when people try so hard to help you get over your own problems, the very LEAST you can do is HELP YOURSELF.

          She was scheduled to go to a doctor's appointment today, a physical and mental check up. But she didn't go. Why? "I felt sad. I don't want to see the doctor when I'm sad. I don't want to cry in front of the doctor." Well. I don't want to wake up early everyday and go to class, but I do it. Why? BECAUSE I VALUE MYSELF AND I WAN TO BE BETTER. She gives like zero shits about her own health. She sleeps at 3 am and wakes up at 11, And I don't think I need to remind you about how she just skipped her check up. For nothing.

          I just feel like... Why should I bother? Why help someone that refuses to be helped? Why fix a vase that just wants to break itself? I don't know. It all just feels so pointless and stupid. I'm going to keep trying to steer her in the right direction but I have to keep living my life.

          Anyway, I feel much much better now. If only this was how my friend could let her emotions out instead.