My friend has a mental illness (rant)

          Ok, I'm feeling really pissed off right now and there's a chance that said friend will see this post, but that's a chance I'll take.

          My friend has depression, and she feels down almost everyday. She feels inferior to everyone, finds problems in herself and magnifies them to a disfiguring degree. You know how skinny girls will say "OMG I'm so fat I'm disgusting" That's what I feel like I'm hearing when she complains about herself. I would kill to be her. She is tall and skinny, and she eats literally whatever she wants, no exaggeration. Her face is the most symmetrical face I have ever seen, ever, and she's had braces so her teeth are great.

          She cries, all the time, about how she sucks at everything and how she can NEVER do her homework well, and she can't finish her homework in time. She gets so easily frustrated and this isn't new, she's always been easily frustrated, but now? Her frustrations turn to full out tantrums. I am not her roommate, but I am friends with her roommate and I really really feel sorry for her. As if homework isn't enough stress? All her problems stem from one really really simple thing: She takes EVERYTHING to heart. And I mean EVERY GOD DAMN THING. I told her once that I thought she walked a little bit weird, and BOOM out comes the tsunami of every single thing anyone has said about the way she walks.

          I know, I know, I should be nice to her right? Tolerate her a bit more? Well I did. Me and her roommate console her all the time, ignoring our homework because our friend is in jeopardy. I spent 4 hours once, just texting her and encouraging her, and I never ever complained about it, until now. Call me unreasonable but when people try so hard to help you get over your own problems, the very LEAST you can do is HELP YOURSELF.

          She was scheduled to go to a doctor's appointment today, a physical and mental check up. But she didn't go. Why? "I felt sad. I don't want to see the doctor when I'm sad. I don't want to cry in front of the doctor." Well. I don't want to wake up early everyday and go to class, but I do it. Why? BECAUSE I VALUE MYSELF AND I WAN TO BE BETTER. She gives like zero shits about her own health. She sleeps at 3 am and wakes up at 11, And I don't think I need to remind you about how she just skipped her check up. For nothing.

          I just feel like... Why should I bother? Why help someone that refuses to be helped? Why fix a vase that just wants to break itself? I don't know. It all just feels so pointless and stupid. I'm going to keep trying to steer her in the right direction but I have to keep living my life.

          Anyway, I feel much much better now. If only this was how my friend could let her emotions out instead.