TMI Underwear problems

          This is a bit of a TMI post, so if you're not comfortable with girl stuff, skip this.

          I was watching a video about clothing 'hacks' titled something like '10 fashion HACKS that ALL GIRLS NEED TO KNOW! #8 is a LIFESAVER'. You know the type. And there was this one for the wires sticking out of your bra and poking you like a needle, and I thought 'huh, that bra fits awfully nice.' I have only 2 bras that actually fit me well, and they're E cups. They don't sell those ANYWHERE in Malaysia. They usually just give a C cup and increase your band size. It's terrible. They technically fit, but like, not well.

          How do I explain this... Imagine having 2 water balloons and stuffing them into a cup. It'll fit, but it's distorted right? Like squished? Now put them into a similarly sized bowl. Fits perfectly, no squishing required. That's the difference, for me. Also, small cup means a lot more spillage, so it makes me look extra fat. As if I needed help for that.

          I managed to buy 2 of the exact same E cup bras, which are amazing, everything fits, but it's now a bit tight because I put on weight :( Problem is, they cost a FORTUNE! Most places that have anything above c cups tend to be specialist shops, and those are damn expensive. Ugh.

          I don't care, usually, I'll just put a bra on or whatever. But sometimes they dislocate, and I sort of... Fall out of them? Like when you wear a beanie and then look up, and the beanie pops off your head? Or like when you wear a tank top or a singlet, and you sit down, and it slides over your belly? (Just me? Ok.) Then I have to basically readjust. Like guys sometimes have to readjust, you know. It's not at all subtle. I hate it.

          If the opportunity ever arises, I'm buying a whole new set of well fitting underwear. I measured myself btw, that's how I know my right size! Girls, you should try it here: http://www.brasizecalculator.tk/  As far as I know, it's right for me! And remember, big cup doesn't always mean big chest, like a 28 D cup is a LOT bigger than say a 38 D cup, so don't be like me and say there is no way my cup size is more than a C, because that's just bra shops trying to sell you what they have.

Anyway, don't know why I wrote this but hop it helped!

No Motivation

          My semester is now 2 weeks old. And I have 0 enthusiasm. Why? I think you can guess why. My dad.

          It's very easy to say oh, everybody dies, sooner or later. There's no need to be sad. But I can't help it you know? I am sad. Everything and anything seems to make me angry or sad nowadays. I try hiding it of course, but I know how I feel even if no one else does.

          I know I should concentrate on my studies but when a loved one could die any day now, it makes everything else seem so... Inconsequential. Who cares what grade I get? Who cares if I show up to class? Who cares if I don't do my assignments? My dad. Is dying. Nothing else MATTERS. 

          Anyway. I'm still gonna do my assignments, I'm still gonna show up to class. I just... Don't want to anymore.