Appreciation

          I never show my appreciation. It's hard for me to show any kind of emotion at all, really, and not like I'm actively suppressing it or anything I just... Don't feel it, I guess? But in my head I do really appreciate all the things my friends do, things like inviting me to places, offering help, it makes me feel like I have a choice in life, that maybe I don't have to do it by myself. I'm so grateful that people actually want me around, even a little bit. I'm so grateful that people are willing to spend their time talking to me, and giving me advice. I'm so grateful because I hardly ever offer anything, because I know depression can cancel any sort of plans I make. I'm grateful because I don't ever expect people to want to hang out with me, so I would never actively engage people in case they feel like they are forced to spend time with me. I'm very grateful, and I'm sorry I can't show it.